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Posts Tagged ‘Motherhood’

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I turned 50 this past December.  It was one of the best days of my life.  My husband and son showered me with love and affection.  I received phone calls from family and friends, and got lots of Facebook love.  Topping the evening off was dinner out with Tom and one of my BFFs, Peggy and her husband Jimmy.  It was definitely a day to remember.  Leading up to it I was excited, and pensive.

If I’m lucky, I’ll have lived half or a little over half my life and at some point I’ll probably write about how I’d prefer to spend the next half.  On turning 50, one thing I knew for certain was that I’d hear from the AARP and I’d need to get a colonoscopy. . .

To read the rest of this post, please click on this link here at Mothering in the Middle where I am a featured contributor:  http://www.motheringinthemiddle.com.

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In my last blog, I wrote about the loneliness that came with being a new mom.  In this blog I’d like to focus on the massive transition it was to go from being in the work force for nearly 30 years, to becoming a stay-at-home mom at the age of 45, and what helped me through the transition.

Over the years when I was working, I had several jobs: waitress, comedy traffic school instructor, event producer, actor, legal assistant.  After my husband and I received the referral for our son, we discussed my staying home.  It had been a long journey to finally become parents, and, if possible, we wanted one of us to be there.  We didn’t want to miss a thing.  Since I was the one with the lower paying job, it was going to be me, if it happened.

Could I handle being a SAHM?  I had been at the same job, as a legal assistant, for over 9 years, loved my boss and the people I saw everyday.  Would I like being home after working so many years?  It wasn’t until we brought The Littlest E home from Ethiopia, that we made our decision.

Being Mom to The Littlest E is the best and most rewarding thing I’ve ever done, and the most difficult.  The adjustment going from working full time, to motherhood full time was profound.  There was the intensity and uncertainty of everything that went with being a new mom.  I was overloaded, thrilled, exhausted and elated altogether.

Everyday I give our little guy the love, care and nurturing he needs.  I am a steward, guide and teacher for him.  That part of being a mom I cherished.  It was the running of the household stuff that bothered me.  The deal my hubby and I made if we wanted to all eat together every night, was that I was responsible for cooking the meals.

In a short time, I began to resent having to plan and make the meals, do the dishes, laundry, clean, pay the bills – you get the idea.  Don’t get me wrong, my husband is a true partner and does his share of the work, but this was a big learning curve for me.  There was a side of me that selfishly didn’t want to do the work.  It felt like it was all too much.

I was talking with my mom about my “resentments” and we started joking about giving myself a title.  I thought, why not?  So, my title, along with mom, became Executive Director of the Elliott Family Residence.  I actually posted that as my job on Facebook.  Suddenly, having this silly title made me step up to the plate with my non-mom responsibilities.  In my work life, I always expanded each position, so why not do the same here?  I started to relish looking up recipes and balancing our checkbook.  I do get overwhelmed at times, but know that it goes with the territory.  My husband also helps out when I’m stressed.

Maybe it’s strange to give myself a title, yet I enjoy everything so much more.  I still can’t believe I ask my husband things like, “Honey, is there anything you haven’t eaten recently that you want?” when making the weekly shopping list, but I do, and giggle as I say it.  Life is good.  I’m a mom, and loving every minute of it, and I’m the Executive Director of our home, a job I’ve grown to treasure.

Image: Average Jane

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