You’re Never Too Old To Need A Parent

I recently posted how I was back running after years of inactivity.  It’s a great way to debrief, get centered, exercise, listen to my inner voice and tap into the joy of living.  About three weeks ago, I injured my knee.  Was it from running?  I’ll never know, but my way of dealing with it was pretending like it wasn’t there.  If I deny it, maybe it’ll go away.

Part of being a good parent (for me) is keeping my body, mind, spirit in the best shape possible.  Denying that something was wrong with my knee wasn’t my best strategy.  Finally, after three weeks of enduring needless pain, I did something about it.  I guess part of my denial was fear that maybe there was something really wrong with my knee.  A friend Wednesday asked about my denial, “How’s that working for you?”  To which I replied, “I’ve got an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon tomorrow.”  I got sick and tired of being sick and tired.

It’s important to mention that a little over 40 years ago, when I was 6 or so, I injured my knee at a playground in San Francisco.  My parents took me to the hospital when they realized I couldn’t get out of the bathtub because my knee was so swollen.  I remember being in the hospital and seeing a massive needle come at my knee to drain the fluid, for I had “water on the knee.”  I still remember that day and cringe when I recall the needle.  My Dad told me my screams were so bad, he had to leave the exam room because it hurt him too much to see me in such pain.  I think I was on crutches for a while after they drained the fluid.  That episode left a bit of a psychological scar.  Perhaps, this was another reason I avoided going to the doctor.  Through it all, my parents were there for me holding my hand providing love and comfort when I needed it.

Thursday, I went to see orthopedic surgeon, Andrew Weiss, M.D., who’s a good friend of my general doctor.  My doctor’s receptionist told me Dr. Weiss was a terrific doctor, had great energy, and that I’d love him.  I did like Dr. Weiss.  He had great energy, was open, honest, very personable, and he knew what he was doing.  He told me sure enough, I had water on the knee.  Yikes.

They took x-rays of my knee to see if there was anything more going on.  I found out I have a little bone spur, but Dr. Weiss said not to worry about that.  He recommended draining the fluid in my knee.  Now I know procedures have changed in 40 years, but my first thought was why didn’t I bring someone with me to the appointment?  I wasn’t sure if I could do the whole draining the knee thing alone.  I actually told Dr. Weiss, I need my Mom.  And I did!  You know, no matter how old you are, sometimes you just need your mom or dad.

I didn’t have my Mom with me while Dr. Weiss drained my knee, but I did have a caring surrogate mom in the form of a nurse who held my hand while the doctor stuck several needles into my knee, one to numb it, one to drain it and one for the steroid to decrease inflammation.  During what seemed like an endless amount of time, I held this woman’s hand and took deep breaths while the needles were doing their various jobs.  It was painful, but I got through it, no screams.  Dr. Weiss was great.  He told me to ice my knee, take anti-inflammatories for 3 days twice a day and in a couple of weeks I could start running again, provided I get new running shoes (mine are way too old and may have been the source of the problem).  All is good and all is right with the world.

I can’t say I enjoyed the procedure, however, it felt like I exorcised a demon from my past.  I’m not that 6-year old girl, though it felt like it for a few seconds.  Medicine is vastly different from 40 years ago.  No crutches, no physical therapy, and no ace bandages.  In other words, it was no big deal, at least when it came to water on the knee.  Thank you, Dr. Weiss.

First thing I did when I got back to my car was leave my husband a message.  Then I called my Mom and my Dad to tell them how it went.  It was cool that we talked about that past and present injury.  I told my Mom I asked for her.  Just talking with her and my Dad made it alright.  They were/are always there for me.  This doctor visit freed me up from the pain in my knee and any residual psychological pain from 40 years ago.  Again, thank you, Dr. Weiss.

One of the main lessons I learned from this episode, aside from the need for new running shoes, is that it’s perfectly okay to still need my parents.  Once you’re a parent, you’re always a parent.  My son is only 3 and his needs are different now than they’ll be in the years to come.  The constants that will always be there no matter how old he gets – love, comfort, providing strength when he’s lacking it, believing in him.  Maybe in 40 years, I’ll get a call from my son asking for comfort as he’s going through something.  I’ll be on the other end of the phone passing on the love my parents gave me.

Images: kcxd, Melanie Elliott

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Running (Jogging) Again

From time to time I write about health, or issues with health.  If I’m not healthy, or taking care of myself, it affects my ability to parent The Littlest E.  This past winter/spring, I dealt with chronic illness.  After numerous blood tests and a scratch test, my doctors attributed it to allergies for which I recently started treatment.  While sick, it impacted the time I spent with my son and the activities we did.  Did the activity require a lot of energy?  Because a number of times, I just didn’t have it.  The balance of playtime and down time was frustrating to find, especially for my energetic son.   We made it through, and I’m grateful not to feel sick anymore.

A couple of years ago, I was diagnosed with osteopenia in my hips.  That means my bone density in my hips is lower than normal.  If untreated, it may lead to osteoporosis.  My doctor at the time, told me to take extra Vitamin D, get in the sun more often since I’m so pale, and do weight-bearing exercises such as running, jogging, etc.  We hadn’t yet picked up The Littlest E from Ethiopia so I figured I could start jogging again.  And I did . . . briefly.

Once we brought our son home, my jogging went right out the window.  I was a new mom of a 12½-month and struggled enough with new mom issues let alone have time to exercise.  The Littlest E and I did go for many walks with him in his stroller, but it wasn’t fully weight-bearing or cardio.  If I could do it over, we’d probably have gotten a jogging stroller.  I put off running.  Actually, I found a multitude of excuses not to run.  No time, didn’t have a sitter, too many chores, didn’t belong to a gym, fear of jogging in my neighborhood, and I was way too tired.

I can be a great rationalizer, even when all of my doctors agreed I needed to do cardio exercise.  My rationalization was simple; I’d start running again when The Littlest E began preschool in the fall of 2011.  That isn’t too far off, I thought.  I also figured carrying my son as much as I did, had to account for some weight-bearing exercise and hula hooping is cardio, right?  See what I mean, great rationalizer.  This is all coming from someone who, ten years ago, ran two marathons, one in Venice, Italy, as a fundraiser for the Arthritis Foundation complete with six-month training program (having never run before), and one in Los Angeles purely for me.

The Littlest E started preschool last September going twice a week from 9-12.  I kept my word and started running/jogging again.  I LOVED IT.  It’s a love/hate kind of thing though, dreading the prepping, the stretching, and finding reasons why there’s no time to run, but when I’m out there, it’s AWESOME, meditative, invigorating, and once in the “zone,” there aren’t many better places to be.  I even hooked up with an amazing group of moms on Twitter called #MomsRunning, who gave me lots of encouragement.  But I got busy and found excuses not to run, then I got sick.  Again, I rationalized; I’ll go when . . . You fill in the blank.

Recently, my pulmonary doctor and allergist both suggested running, and I finally took their suggestions to heart.  It’s good for my breathing, it’s good for my body, and it’s good for my spiritual wellbeing.  Since The Littlest E started preschool more fulltime, I HAVE the time to run, let’s be honest, jog, and have run out of excuses NOT to jog.  My dear friend, Mysie, was just in town visiting from Australia.  She does mini triathlons and is amazing!!  We ran a couple of times while she was here and I got that same invigorating feeling being out there, feet hitting the pavement or dirt, breathing in the air and living completely in the moment.  It was wonderful.  I promised her I’d start jogging again.  She told me she’d check up on me.  I told her I’d take an invisible Mysie with me so I didn’t have to run alone.

It’s going well so far.  I only jog around 3 miles, and it feels good to be back.  Went for a jog this morning after I dropped my son off at school and it was great.  I entered the “zone” close to the end of my first lap, totally in the moment.  North Hollywood Park’s tree-lined track provided ample shade and the breeze felt cool on me as I jogged while the sun beamed its warmth on my shoulders.  I’ve written about the importance of Mom-Me time, and this was quintessential Mom-Me time.  I’d missed what happens inside me when I jog.  I missed my brain clearing and the ideas that come streaming in.  I missed the pooling of sweat at the base of my hair, and I missed how wonderful it is to exercise and feel my face redden, knowing I’m getting in a solid workout.

What’s most important is that I FEEL better after I jog, too.  This helps my mental, physical and spiritual health that, in turn, helps me be a better mom to my son.  Who knows, maybe there’s another marathon in me still.  For now, I’m taking life the way I always do, one day at a time and one jog at a time.

Images: Spec-ta-cles, Melanie Elliott, Dru Bloomfield

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